some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
