all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
