idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
