are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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