I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
