I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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