She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
