I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
