lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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