Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
false alarm. still invincible.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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