Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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