Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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