it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My vagina is officially offended.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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