i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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