Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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