saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
