Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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