I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
