do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
