DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
