PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
