some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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