remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
bring money and cleavage
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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