I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
