It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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