dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
