The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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