It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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