If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
