His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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