all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
