my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize