you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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