If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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