yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
