I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize