I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
NoShamevember. You game?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
