The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.