3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across