So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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