I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.