Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.