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Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He passed out mid-signature
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
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