my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
