I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
