We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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