Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
