Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were trust falling into bushes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
