We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I supernannyed him into submission
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
