I must be too annoying 4 u.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
