where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
