He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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