Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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