Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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