I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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