I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
