Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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