I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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