This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize