What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
