Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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