I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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