I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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