look no pants
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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