Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
