omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
