Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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