Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
