Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
